Missing you....

I am such a talk radio junkie. Almost every day I try and catch the Dr. Laura show, just because I like to hear how stupid people really are. Most of their dilemmas are simple common sense--and why they can't see the answers for themselves is beyond me.

Thursday there was a woman caller who was just beside herself, blubbering and crying, and she had real validity to her upsetting nature. She lost her 5 year old, not by accident, but by medical reasons. It was very sad. She was mad at the world, mad at God, mad at anyone who still has their children.

Her anger was comforting to me, because I know exactly where she is. I know that anger. Dr. Laura's solution....I just knew it was going to involve a counselor or some type of professional help, because this woman was hysterically upset.

The solution was simple, and smart. From Dr. Laura, "God doesn't sit and zap people...your anger is justified.....you loved your little girl with all your heart--now you have to project that love elsewhere. Anger is natural during grieving, but you have to put that love that you had for your daughter somewhere else for someone else. Be it a charity that helps other children, or be it a family member, or be it someone that you have hated out of the anger of your grieving."

WOW!!!

This was definitely something for me to remember, and I hope that someone else could benefit from that advice. I lost my father in 2003, and I lost my mother in 2005. My mother was the world to me. My father and I didn't have a great relationship, but that is lack of communication. I didn't know how to approach my father, and he really didn't know how to approach me. I really felt anger towards him, but later realized that the anger was what I felt about myself for not knowing what to do or how to do it. That could have been a great relationship, but it is lost forever; however, I know now not to let anything go.

My mother. That was the biggest loss for me. She was really my best friend, and there wasn't a day that went by that we didn't talk. Sometimes we would talk two, three, ten times a day. I see a lot of things in hind-sight that were problems with our family. Those problems are with people that have no intention of changing, but I believe in evolving with or without. Yeah, the family COULD be so much better, but it won't--and that is the reality of it. It's useless to spend years mending something broken when all the pieces aren't there.

The time spent with my mother was truly GOLD!! I miss her and think of her every day. The family that was suppose to have been the soft cushion to fall back on is not there, but that's okay. I can finally move on, and put the love that I had for my mother on people that really need it.